I’m so sad and fat :c

I’m not who I want to be. 

Gym Today:

50 minute spin class- moderate/hard
-435 cal

10 minutes on the elliptical- cool down
-95 calories

WHOOHOO IM ON FIRE TODAY

also can I just gush some more ok he took his shirt off and omg fucking ARMS. i’ve never been with anyone so fucking trim and fit before and it took me a minute to pick up my jaw from the floor. one of these days i’ll sneak a pic and post it for you because seriously you guys I’m dating a greek god

i dunno how because all I do is eat and sit on tumblr all day and reblog fucking gay glee gifs and shit but I’m not going to jinx it by questioning too much

Whenever I’ve been up late reading because I got too absorbed and lost track of time, the hours after I’ve put the book down are grey and fuzzy and thoroughly bizarre. I can still hear the voices in my head, like they are parts of a pleasant conversation I just had with a neighbor or an old friend and not just words on ink on paper. And sometimes, I wake up the next morning with the sun in my eyes and still hear their voices, only softer, murmuring to me that they still have more story to tell. And even after I’ve finished the book and placed it carefully back on the shelf, their voices linger, calling me, and for a while they are real, living, breathing people who walk around like ghosts in my mind. And then, one day, they’re just gone. They slip quietly back into non-existence, right where they were when I found them. And nothing will ever fill the emptiness they’ve left. 

So many nice messages in my inbox today :) Thank you all for the kind words! Finding those messages made me smile all day. I replied to everyone individually, but I felt like a general thanks was also warranted. Soooooo thank you :) 

I’ve been feeling really light-headed recently. Sweating. Hot. I can’t hold still, I twitch a lot. I also noticed that I’ve been grinding my teeth so hard that they bleed. I feel anxious, uncomfortable, like my skin is too tight and it’s doesn’t fit anymore. I’m itchy and I can’t sleep. I have these stomach pains, I can’t eat without feeling sick. I’m constantly thirsty and my mouth is dry

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.